Life through the eyes of a pampered Bulldog.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

My Horoscope

So, Mom is reading more and more up on how to 'balance her Chakra' - whatever the heck that means- so anyway with all the 'mystical' research she has been doing, I decided I would check out my Doggie Horoscope (I have a link to the site)so here goes:
(November 23 - December 21)
Sign of The Archer
Ruling Planet - Jupiter
Most Desirable Qualities - Nature Loving, active (this is definitely me)
Talent - Hunting (hmmm hunting- interesting)
Physical Characteristics - Well-balanced body, ankles and feet will be fine and delicate (Ill never hear the end of this one as soon as my dad sees the 'delicate feet' part- ugh he already says I sometimes hop like a school girl)
Lucky Day - Monday
Most Harmonious Signs - Sagittarius, Leo, Aries (well My Gramps is a Leo and Mom and Toby the cat are Aries)
Sagittarius is the Sign of the Archer and this signifies that you definitely have a purpose or aim in life. You are also a natural born hunter and will stalk anything that moves including ants, butterflies, and old newspapers.( Yeah I guess I do hunt- I will definitely bark at stuff if it has been moved and I DO NOT like pesky ants- they like to bite my belly)
You have tremendous vitality are very alert and interested in everything that goes on.(True) In fact your nose is usually in everyone else's business and you consult the corner fire hydrant or local favorite tree to find out who's in town.(Yes this is VERY TRUE) This curiosity also leads you down the street and into some places you may not be welcome, and you often come home having adopted an orphan.(Well, I did sneak off one time- and it scared the bejeeseys out of me and I tried to jump into the neighbors pool-and as you know, Bulldogs cant swim without life jackets- and the Rents' were really worried)You have a very passionate temperament and are sensitive and sympathetic to the moods of those around you.(See, I knew someone would finally get me- I hope mom reads this- I'm in the mood for a treat!)You adore good living, happy and congenial companions. With a huge sigh of contentment you will claim the most comfortable chair in the house and sink wearily into it. (Yes that's right- the couch is MINE! So, the cat needs to keep his little mits off of it too!- Just cause I'm not always allowed in the living room, doesn't mean he is either!- He'd better recognize! Oh, and yes it is true-good living is very true, I REQUIRE a fresh clean sheet on my bed every time I take a baffie- Otherwise, I grumble and tear it off myself- The Rents' think its funny, but, who wants to sleep on unclean sheets? I must be typing outloud because mom says I am getting a bit too ahead of myself and that I 'need to take it down a notch or two' ...... Stinkin' Rents- ugh)
Key words: enthusiastic, optimistic, philosophical, restless describe you!(Yes I would like to believe I am Philosophical- in fact, I know there is a thing called Karma because when I fart- I reach around to smell it and by the time I make a complete turn back around, its in my face again!- See?! )
Harsh words or tone of voice will cause you resentment and you will pretend to not understand. A bath is revolting and so are cats.(Well I actually like baffies, I love the scrub down and the Cyrus 500 laps around the kitchen table to dry the wrinkles- but I just don't like the words ' CYRUS WANNA BAFFIE?' they make me cringe- but I don't have a problem jumping into the tub and standing like a perfect gentleman while mom 'scrubs the stink off of me'.... And I do like cats- they just don't like me- the only ones I don't really like are the ones who get into the trash and tear up the yard and try to get at the fish in the rock pond)
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Well sometimes you are considered just too frank and candid.(chhaaa yeah, that's for sure) Wait till someone sniffs first next time, then you can be very responsive to love.(Yeah I got that one down by now- when I was about 3 months old, I was lookin for love from the then outside cat, Chloe, and she scratched my eye! I had to be rushed to the emergency vet in another state, but luckily she only got my 3rd eyelid and it didn't do any harm to me- needless to say, we don't have an outside cat anymore because of that incident)
According to the stars your best companion would be one born between May 21 to June 21.(Hmm I think Zoey was born in between those months- Ill have to ask her)
While you seek vigorous activity even in your later years your delicate legs must be cared for!! No rough jumping over fences.(Yeah, yeah, yeah- I hear that crap all the time 'NO JUMPING' AND 'YOU'RE TOO BIG YOU WONT FIT UP THERE, YOU'LL BREAK YOUR LEG JUMPING OFF THERE' ugh- I cant have any fun!)
Life will be good you this year. Your lucky number is 2 and so of course this year should be even more lucky. Your most favorite color is green
.(WOW! MY FAVORITE COLOR IS GREEN!! I FAVOR EVERYTHING THAT IS GREEN AND MY COLLAR IS GREEN!! And the #2 part is pretty cool cause, In December, I am going to be turning 2!)

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