Life through the eyes of a pampered Bulldog.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

In the doghouse

So, I guess I'm back in the proverbial dog house again :o(
Mom and Grammie decided they would move stuff around everywhere and they friggin moved my bed and crumpled it all around and so I got mad and peed on the side of the chair and refused to go outside and poop....So I crapped on the kitchen floor....WELL! THEY WERE THE ONES WHO MOVED ALL MY STUFF AROUND!
So, I'm sulking today...Maybe it will earn me a little bit of sympathy points towards a new greenie? :o) or :o( ? We'll see....

My Horoscope

So, Mom is reading more and more up on how to 'balance her Chakra' - whatever the heck that means- so anyway with all the 'mystical' research she has been doing, I decided I would check out my Doggie Horoscope (I have a link to the site)so here goes:
(November 23 - December 21)
Sign of The Archer
Ruling Planet - Jupiter
Most Desirable Qualities - Nature Loving, active (this is definitely me)
Talent - Hunting (hmmm hunting- interesting)
Physical Characteristics - Well-balanced body, ankles and feet will be fine and delicate (Ill never hear the end of this one as soon as my dad sees the 'delicate feet' part- ugh he already says I sometimes hop like a school girl)
Lucky Day - Monday
Most Harmonious Signs - Sagittarius, Leo, Aries (well My Gramps is a Leo and Mom and Toby the cat are Aries)
Sagittarius is the Sign of the Archer and this signifies that you definitely have a purpose or aim in life. You are also a natural born hunter and will stalk anything that moves including ants, butterflies, and old newspapers.( Yeah I guess I do hunt- I will definitely bark at stuff if it has been moved and I DO NOT like pesky ants- they like to bite my belly)
You have tremendous vitality are very alert and interested in everything that goes on.(True) In fact your nose is usually in everyone else's business and you consult the corner fire hydrant or local favorite tree to find out who's in town.(Yes this is VERY TRUE) This curiosity also leads you down the street and into some places you may not be welcome, and you often come home having adopted an orphan.(Well, I did sneak off one time- and it scared the bejeeseys out of me and I tried to jump into the neighbors pool-and as you know, Bulldogs cant swim without life jackets- and the Rents' were really worried)You have a very passionate temperament and are sensitive and sympathetic to the moods of those around you.(See, I knew someone would finally get me- I hope mom reads this- I'm in the mood for a treat!)You adore good living, happy and congenial companions. With a huge sigh of contentment you will claim the most comfortable chair in the house and sink wearily into it. (Yes that's right- the couch is MINE! So, the cat needs to keep his little mits off of it too!- Just cause I'm not always allowed in the living room, doesn't mean he is either!- He'd better recognize! Oh, and yes it is true-good living is very true, I REQUIRE a fresh clean sheet on my bed every time I take a baffie- Otherwise, I grumble and tear it off myself- The Rents' think its funny, but, who wants to sleep on unclean sheets? I must be typing outloud because mom says I am getting a bit too ahead of myself and that I 'need to take it down a notch or two' ...... Stinkin' Rents- ugh)
Key words: enthusiastic, optimistic, philosophical, restless describe you!(Yes I would like to believe I am Philosophical- in fact, I know there is a thing called Karma because when I fart- I reach around to smell it and by the time I make a complete turn back around, its in my face again!- See?! )
Harsh words or tone of voice will cause you resentment and you will pretend to not understand. A bath is revolting and so are cats.(Well I actually like baffies, I love the scrub down and the Cyrus 500 laps around the kitchen table to dry the wrinkles- but I just don't like the words ' CYRUS WANNA BAFFIE?' they make me cringe- but I don't have a problem jumping into the tub and standing like a perfect gentleman while mom 'scrubs the stink off of me'.... And I do like cats- they just don't like me- the only ones I don't really like are the ones who get into the trash and tear up the yard and try to get at the fish in the rock pond)
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Well sometimes you are considered just too frank and candid.(chhaaa yeah, that's for sure) Wait till someone sniffs first next time, then you can be very responsive to love.(Yeah I got that one down by now- when I was about 3 months old, I was lookin for love from the then outside cat, Chloe, and she scratched my eye! I had to be rushed to the emergency vet in another state, but luckily she only got my 3rd eyelid and it didn't do any harm to me- needless to say, we don't have an outside cat anymore because of that incident)
According to the stars your best companion would be one born between May 21 to June 21.(Hmm I think Zoey was born in between those months- Ill have to ask her)
While you seek vigorous activity even in your later years your delicate legs must be cared for!! No rough jumping over fences.(Yeah, yeah, yeah- I hear that crap all the time 'NO JUMPING' AND 'YOU'RE TOO BIG YOU WONT FIT UP THERE, YOU'LL BREAK YOUR LEG JUMPING OFF THERE' ugh- I cant have any fun!)
Life will be good you this year. Your lucky number is 2 and so of course this year should be even more lucky. Your most favorite color is green
.(WOW! MY FAVORITE COLOR IS GREEN!! I FAVOR EVERYTHING THAT IS GREEN AND MY COLLAR IS GREEN!! And the #2 part is pretty cool cause, In December, I am going to be turning 2!)

Friday, August 25, 2006

Zoo in the back yard?

Im a little less mad at my mom today.... She has been giving me treats all day. But I think Im gonna milk this up while I can!
Nothing new to talk about... although I am noticing a weird new trend in the back yard and Im thinking its turning into a Zoo. Last week there were terrible bees (I tried to pee on their 'nesting place' and they got a little mad- but it was MY pee post! - well actually it is mom's flower pot basket but its MY PEE POST..... I like it so therefore its MINE (dad says I get that mentality from mom heheh)) anyway, there were terrible bees and then came the slugs, then came the tomcats (who like to get into our trash and tear up the yard - so I chase them off) and NOW we have a new FROG! Mom thinks that it was our giant Bullfrog, Harriet who ran -or I should say HOPPED- away's, baby. But we dont know. He is really teenie tiny. I think I shall call him Dinky. But even though hes small, Im still going to have to go have a talk with him and let him know who rules the roost around here... Mom says I should behave but, I think it's only fair because he is in fact at the bottom of the pecking order right? I think so.....

Thursday, August 24, 2006


First of all Im just gonna come right out and say it. I'M MAD!
Im so mad at my mom right now I don't even want to look at her. Okay so earlier Mom went and met my aunt Kelly somewhere and they ate. This is all fine. They then went and shopped around. This is still fine. Later, they decide to go to PETLAND - WITHOUT ME! This is not fine! For one, I never got to go and strut my stuff in front of the other dogs and for two, I DIDN'T get to pick out a new toy, and three, MOM PLAYED WITH ANOTHER BULLDOG!.....She even tried to hide it from me by running in and changing her clothes- but Im no dummy- I know....I know she played with ANOTHER bulldog. She has been trying to make up to me and I won't even look at her....Shes got a lot of kissin' up to do! I even went in my room to get away from her to take out my agression on my bone- still she followed me! I went outside to do my business and she friggin followed me out there too! Man whats a bullie gotta do to get a little privacy around here! Oh by the way- when I was out there making my rounds, I ran into an interesting squishy worm type thing that mom called 'Mr. Slug' - He didnt taste very good- so word for the wise- DO NOT EAT A 'MR.SLUG', THEY DONT TASTE GOOD AT ALL!!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Gunner came back!

Hey all!
Well, last weekend was the Parade of the Hills and I DIDN'T get to go :(
Mom and Dad said it was way too hot for a big bullie like me to be out in that heat with 'every dirty, germie filled set of hands wanting to pet and wallar' all over me.... Hey, I don't have a problem with that!! I love kids- especially ones with a big plate of French fries or those cotton candy wands, mmmm.... Those are the best! Anyway- back to the point.... So on Saturday, Mom, Dad and Grammie went to see the Parade and I guess they walked forever in the heat and got all hot and sweaty... (I wonder what it is like to sweat all over hmmm....) But anyway, when they came back home to rest, we had a knock at the door and guess who it was?!!!!
GUNNER!! I was soo excited that he came back to see me because I thought his 'Rents would be afraid that our testosterone would get the best of us two together and wouldn't bring him back over to play- but thank god they weren't!
When he got here, he must have been worn out because he didn't really want to play... So we kinda just laid around the yard and had peeing contests... We ran around the yard and peed on pretty much everything that we could to see who could mark last....
Being that it was really hot outside, the marking smell must have got to our 'Rents because Dad got the hose out and ruined our progress by spraying every noticeable pole and flower pot in the yard..... Ugh, 'Rents- they don't have a clue!
So we had to start all over again! Eventually, we got tired and we both just laid around the yard in the cool grass..... Oh I thought I might mention that I won the marking game because hehehe when Gunner left, I made sure I peed on the tikki torch one last time!!! hehehe Dad called me a cheater but, hey- what can ya do?! hehe

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Ive Been Tagged again!


(also I thought I would mention that mom has been doing some 'cleaning up' on my page because she said that we dont have many 'bites' left of storage to put any more pictures up- I was wondering why it wouldnt load any new pics I try to put on there up!! Well- anyway... If you were looking for a certain picture of me and its not on the blog anymore...stupid mom deleted this better work!!!)
So here are 10 funny things about me!
1. When I get a bath I run around the house as fast as I can, wrinkles to the wind-the 'rents call it the Cyrus 500.
2. When the 'rents arent paying any attention to me I lay on the ground and make the most pitiful whiny noises I can to make em feel sorry for me and pet me.
3. When mom sprays anything in a spray bottle I make a sour face and snort at her to make her stop.
4. I fart in my sleep and wake up to smell it. (WHAT?)
5. I have my own ottoman that swings. If someone puts thier feet on it I just have to show my balancing skills- and to let em know its mine, not to get any ideas...
6. Sometimes I sneek in the bathroom trash and pull out ear swabbies and eat them..but sometimes I hide them in my cheeks for later.
7. I hate rain. When it rains outside I either try to hold it until I cant anymore or I tippie toe outside to go and then hop back in. Dad says I hop like a 'little school girl' and it makes me mad...
8. If someone comes home with a bag or something new and they put someplace it wasnt before, I will bark at it until someone moves it.
9. Whenever mom and dad hug I feel the need to jump up on them to break them apart...wheres the love in it for me?
10. I love to dance. whenever I hear loud fun music (especially a song by "50 cent peice") I hop around on the balls of my feet and get the 'rents up to dance ...its so fun they laugh at me butI know they are just jealous because they dont have the moves like me.

Yeah I got double Tagged.. So, I had 10!!

Monday, August 14, 2006


This weekend was a BLAST!!! Oh my goodness!! well... Mom dad and I went to Uncle Alex and aAunt Kaycies house- and guess who I got to seeeee??????? ZOEY POEY!!!!! We had a blast!! we ran around and jumped and played and I even slept in her bed!!! (of course she was in with her mom and dad in her second bed- but I got to sleep in her cushiony bed!! We played with this really neat chicken named 'Henrietta' that squaked really loud and I got to take one home with me! I had a blast!!
On the way home, mom and dad stopped at a gas station and let me potty in the grass and a really nice guy came over and was admiring my beauty - So mom says- and was asking the rents' when we were planning on having me bred with my girlfriend (Zoey) - Dad says within about 7 or 8 months....I got all excited because I kinda know what that entails...........Me being a dad of course!! Geesh! What did you think I was talking about?
Anyway- I just wanted to give a shout out to my beautiful ZoPo and tell her I had a great time dragging out the toys this weekend!!!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Well, Mom has been working on my website a lot more lately- I guess some very nice people from want me to have my pics on their cool doggie newsletter site....Im excited about that!
Annnnnnd....THE BOOK CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY!!!!! The pet book in which my pictures are featured and I even have a bio in it too!!!
I have been strutting around the house and yard all day... and I told mom that she is going to have to move the mirror over in front of my bed a bit so I can look at my handsome features- She just rolled her eyes at me and told me to 'behave'. She always has a way of keeping me modest- but, eh, what can I say... I cant help it if Im just that awesome!! Yep- I know it... The bitches love me..... (WHAT? They are female dogs!?) Mom just said that she can tell I have been hanging around with my dad.... hehehe
Speaking of female dogs..... My honey buns, Zoey came over on Saturday!!! God I was sooo excited to see her!! We romped and played and oh do I just love her!!! Mom caught us on camera running around and knocking each other over on the slippery floor!! And best of all I heard mom and dad talking to aunt Kaycie and uncle Alex about going down and seeing seeing them in Cincinnati this weekend, and Zoey and I get to have the house all to our selves baby!!! Aunt Kaycie works at a dog specialty store and Zoey told me that her mom brings her new toys home all the time!!! I CAN NOT WAIT!!!!
Aaannndd, I also heard them saying something about Zoey and me getting to have babies...which, that kinda scared me a lil bit and I had a talk with dad about it and he says that I have nothing to worry about because, dad says I will be a great father and they will be around to help with the babies all the time.... and- DONT TELL MOM THIS- but hehe Dad said that it would be a perfect time for me to make fun of mom for being an old grandma!!! ahahahha
Anyway- you can go to my real website for some bulldog tips and info and click on My Website link above!